Nyc sluts

Added: Mack Premo - Date: 27.06.2021 08:02 - Views: 48441 - Clicks: 2152

This is the earlier version of a post that I submitted to the Huffington Post. So it might seem familiar to you if you read the shorter more streamlined version.

Nyc sluts

I just wanted to point that out in case anyone was confused. Basically after I wrote this one, and got overwhelmingly positive feedback from it I was encouraged to submit to HuffPo. So to any bloggers out there who want more traffic and a larger audience, just do what I did, and you might get lucky.

I love how the internet has a level of democratization to it. So do it! I had to cut this post in half, as the Huffington Post suggests words, this was something like That is, date anyone for any ificant length of time. Admittedly it is a bit of a problem because I am out of practice as Nyc sluts was with my nyc sluts for a total of nine years. And after nine years together in a committed relationship I have extreme difficulty navigating the nuanced dance that is dating.

One can not be too direct, overly eager, needy, desperate, clingy, emotional, commitment pressuring, or baby daddy seeking. And at the same time not be too cold, aloof, bitchy, mean, shallow, negative or distant. And never shit talk an ex in front of anyone, or even talk about an ex in any capacity, even if the past nine years of your life was living and working with him!!!! Then there are the crazy games of when to text, or call, when not to get back to a person and when to answer immediately, when to act interested and disinterested and when to completely blow them off in the hopes that they will come running back after you have ignored them a while.

The last tactic being one I absolutely loathe as it goes against everything about me. As a person who is by nature very direct and to the point, dating is a mystery wrapped in an enigma to me. Now mind you I hang out with a bunch of artistic types so this can really make life difficult for me, as the majority of my friends use at least one if not more substances on a regular basis.

I am not judging anyone, and I have no problem with my friends that are regular pot users or heavy drinkers. I am perfectly comfortable for the most part hanging with my friends, but it can make me a less than attractive partner in some eyes because of my drug and alcohol-free lifestyle. Add to that my vegetarian diet of over 20 years and my two cats, and for some that is just too many deal breakers to handle for many men.

Yes, I know I get on stage and joke and tell a blue streak of obscenities and adult themed humor, but in my personal life I am a committed relationship type of gal. I make no illusions to being anything but this, and I do not judge others for their behavior. If a poly amorous life of multiple lovers works for a person, then I say go for it. Or if a string of emotionally detached one-night stands with perfect strangers is what makes a person happy then great. I have a myriad of friends who complain all the time. I have made failed attempts at living a Sex in the City style life of hooking up with partners for something casual, and every time I have tried it the have been disastrous.

So I realized, I am not this person, I need to be true to myself so I went back to my serious relationship commitment roots. But no matter how much I keep trying to go for a traditional path, the hook-up scenario keeps rearing its ugly head. Just the other night an attractive man was coming on to me HARD. He was so obnoxious and obvious about it that a bunch of my friends noticed and even some of his friends were trying to set us up. But I had never met this man in my life and to be quite honest his overly aggressive approach was off-putting. He was also over a decade younger than me and was a bit of a jock.

Not exactly the brainy nerdy guys that I normally find much more compelling. I like a man who can intellectually stimulate me, plus pretty boy jocks tend to get women easily, and as I always say…. And that tends to be true. So I was mildly deflecting his advances when a much younger and age appropriate woman arrived on the scene. Eventually Mr. Meathead instantly moved on to her, I had no idea if she knew the show he was putting on in front of me or how aggressive he had been.

Would it have mattered to her? I doubt it. That any guy who is that attractive and that aggressive towards women is not what you would call relationship material. And part of my ego was stroked anyway in that he approached me first, and I was 16 years her senior. So for bragging rights, at least I have that!

She went up to him. He went up to me! I have to take what I can get! The same girl was chatting up another male friend of mine earlier in the night. So much so that I thought they might be dating. Little did I know, it seemed she may have been looking for whatever was the best option available that evening. Or maybe she just met her future husband last night. Whatever works for her!! I find this all the time when dating. It is just sort of expected by many that you start the physical part of the relationship first, and then see if either partner wants to continue after you have had sex.

Sort of a try before you buy situation. Nyc sluts before emotional attachment, sex before any form of relationship, sex before everything. Or what I like to call how to be treated like something in between a booty call and a girlfriend. Not exactly what I call fun, but again nyc sluts is different and for some people this situation is ideal. What Nyc sluts find frustrating is that if you really want to get to know a guy first before having sex with him, it seems like there is no end to the women who will jump into bed with them.

It seems more like long-term relationship suicide. Sex is usually the mortar between the bricks but the bricks have to line up or the whole thing collapses. I know there a plenty of men and women who are frustrated like myself out there. I hear it all the time from my friends, sometimes they think the fast life of hookups and one-night stands, friends-with-benefits, or fuck-buddies is working for them.

But they soon grow tired of it and want something steady with one person. But what are we supposed to do when everyone around us seems to be whoring it nyc sluts If a guy can so easily get no-strings attached sex, and then never see the woman again if he chooses, then why would they try for anything else? And when a man is tired of the hook-ups himself, how does he then make the transition to getting to know a woman when he has been hooking-up for years?

Of course the same goes for women, and people of all sexual orientations and persuasions. When do you decide to stop and settle down? And when you do settle down, then what? Funny how nyc sluts a hot caffeinated beverage is somehow the equivalent of sex with no strings. Again I am sure some women will go for it, but what kind of women? How likely are they to look like their actual photo? Or not be a total psycho? Or not be a scam artist? I bet some men have tried these arrangements only to wake up in a strange hotel room hours later missing their computer, their wallet and anything else of value.

Is it survival of the sluttiest? There are no real rules with relationships and sometimes sleeping with a someone you barely know le to years of coupled bliss. Nyc sluts ask myself this question almost daily…. Do I have to change who I fundamentally am as a person in order to survive the dating scene in New York city?

I asked tons of people for advice, got tons of different advice, tried it all, and none of it mattered. Then recently I met someone I really like and it was magically fine. It was just magically fine. A thousand people can write a thousand articles about how NYC is too this or too that or what kind of game you need to have, but the truth is, nothing makes any sense until you just wake up one day and it does, for absolutely no reason.

When do I say people suck? And when do I say that anyone is ruining my life? If anyone ruined my life that would be my ex-husband and I never mentioned him here. A poly amorous lifestyle is a mystery to me, if someone wants to blog about the joys of that lifestyle they are free to, but why should I? Also if jumping into bed with your current lover worked out great for you, then good for you.

Nyc sluts

I think I nyc sluts include that very scenario in this post. As for judgmental, well it is my opinion and I am entitled to it. And I think I start this post with, whenever anyone has an opinion someone is there to disagree. But I am hardly condemning other people on here, or telling anyone how to live their life.

I just know for my experiences and that of many of my friends the gray area between girlfriend and booty call can be miserable. I refuse to go there anymore, as do many of my friends. But if another girl wants to keep three guys going on rotation with no man claiming her and her claiming no man, then all power to her. It is just not for me. And I get frustrated when it seems the majority of situations I am put in, in this city I am expected to act like a character out nyc sluts a movie and sleep with as many men as possible and as soon as possible, rather than get to know them first and then see what happens.

That is my perspective. I have to say, I am having the same problem for the same reasons you are.

Nyc sluts

Anyhow, now I find it very difficult to stay in a committed relationship when there is so much easy no strings attached sex that women in this city nyc sluts for men. My good friend is a doctor and she is dating a 38 year old guy who still lives with 3 grown men as roomates. I am a relationship guy, but I can tell you, when times get tough its easy to look around at all the casual sex and freedom that my friends have and I ask myself whether I should really be in a relationship in this city.

Relationships are wonderful but can be hard work and so if a man has a constant supply of commitment free sex then why get into a relationship unless he is absolutely ready? Sex sused to be the lure women could use to get a man to know her better through months of courting. Now women just nyc sluts it out there. The availibilty of sex for single men in this society nyc in particualr has completely changed the rules of the game. Women gave up all their power in this regard and now men get to choose and women have to chase. I long for a simpler society where women regulate the sex and force us to identify sex with commitment.

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